Monday, 10 June 2024

Upon deciding not to be an artist anymore

 

I do not want to be a part of something I feel is atoning

You are asking me to support your atonement

Being born this instance

I, like them, have nothing to atone for.

Perpetuating a genocide of classified pregiven status

Located in making up for something 

We can’t quite place

Feels like something I don’t want to join in with.

Communication is the display case arrowhead 

of those who seek to control

Those who remark on how dogs can remember names

They seem almost human they say

Forgetting that birds make new brain cells singing in the wild

How do I carry on singing in the wild?

Do I tell you I’m deaf by communicating in signs?

Do I tell you about a trauma and the overcoming of it?

Cancer feeds on the not grieving 

The fat lump in the collective windpipe

The loss of singing in the wild

We no longer grieve in life as a song to living

We grieve to communicate our location status

We wear the colours of creative solutions

Dyed with the pigmentation of differentiated clarity

This is something I am choosing not to continue doing

Instead I will gleefully dip myself in a bluish blood bucket of joy

Losing my mind to find out what I think in a plume of vapour

Trailing into the beyond of cosmic Crawley indigenousness.

Until that ever-present moment I am not an artist any longer.

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